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If you are in the wedding and event industry, you know that we are experiencing a high surge of clientele following the drought year of 2020. I know just this week alone, as I write this, I have 3 weddings all in one week, which is a personal record for TGA. It's kind of crazy to think that just three years ago I was putting on my very first wedding, having the experience of working in a restaurant and planning my own birthday parties, but that was really it for my knowledge. As I go into what is my busiest season ever, I feel nostalgic to share about my first wedding to reflect on what I’ve learned from it. Hopefully if you are new to this industry you find it helpful to learn from what I did (or didnʻt do) and if you are a seasoned wedding professional, maybe this brings you back to your first event. Nevertheless, here are some of the things I wish I knew when I planned my first wedding. Let me start off by saying, Caitlin and Erika, who were the first couple I worked with, are the sweetest people who ever lived. To allow a young 20 something year old fresh out of college with a degree in Kinesiology to plan one the most important days of their lives is immense trust, and for that I am grateful. None of what could have gone better is a reflection on them, but rather me still finding my footing. My first wedding was on September 22, 2018 in Monrovia, California. I remember it clearly because it was a week after I celebrated my birthday and I made a wish that everything went smoothly. I will say that in the grand scheme of things, it was a successful first event, but I walked away with a handful of ways that I could have done things better, like a true enneagram 3 would. One of the biggest things I wish I knew prior to my first event, was how fast time moves. A three hour set up period can feel like 30 minutes when you have a hundred things to do. I remember in one of our first meetings, the couple expressed that they planned to do a lot of DIY at their wedding. It seemed like an easy task to handle, but in reality it was quite a lot of work for myself and one assistant (who at the time was my wife Ipo, because I had $0.00 to pay anyone). We thankfully were able to be fully set up by the time guests arrived, but I was sweating in places I didnʻt know one could sweat trying to make sure everything was done. The second thing I wish I knew and it may seem like a no-brainer to some of you, but as a planner you are literally who everyone looks to. Caitlin and Erika decided to hire vendors who were just getting into the industry as a way for all of us to grow our portfolios (again they are the best). However, when all of you are super green and donʻt quite know what you are doing, it can become a bit of a guessing game. As the planner, all of the vendors, guests, and couples look to you for answers, so knowing your shit is part of your job description. Looking back, it might have been beneficial to have shadowed one or two weddings prior to throwing myself into a live one, but I've always been a learn as you go type of person. Third thing that might have been handy to know is that there are certain details that you want to get cleared up prior to the big day, one of which is trash. Knowing who is incharge of trash clean up and where it needs to go is a huge thing to figure out ahead of time, because you will be the one who is incharge of it at the end of the night if that task is not explicitly designated to someone. Trash was not at the forefront of my mind in any of our meetings, but at the end of their wedding we were stuck with about ten 30 gallon bags of trash that we had to take in our Kia Niro to the dump at midnight; not the tea. Now, asking about trash cleanup is one of the first things I ask in timeline meetings to make sure that is taken care of. Another thing I wish I knew is how much hard work it is to be a wedding planner. Emails, phone calls, and meetings are all part of the pre-wedding stage which is a lot of work organizing those details, but the day of the event is a brutal workout on the body. With the wrong shoes or outfit, it can be a miserable experience. I did not have the right footwear on my first day of work and I paid for it over the days that followed. I remember spending what I made on that wedding to buy a new pair of sensible shoes and a foot massage. While it is a rewarding job that Iʻve had the pleasure to do for a while now, it is nowhere near as glamorous as JLO makes it in The Wedding Planner movie. The last thing I wish I knew when I planned my first wedding is how quick thinking you need to be. Being able to come up with a plan ABCDEFG is a huge part of being a wedding planner. Almost never does everything go according to plan, so being flexible with change and ready with a solution needs to come like second nature. One of the biggest hiccups at the wedding and what I vividly remember saying under my breath “I should just quit now” happened during the ceremony. As I mentioned before, most of the vendors were new and the couple opted for a ton of DIY. So when it came to their wedding arch, it was a structure that was not the most stable set up. Moments before the couple were to walk down the aisle, the arch and flowers timbered over as guests awaited the processional. It was a fight or flight moment, but I rushed over and was able to readjust the backdrop. I found anything I could that would support it back up. As for the flowers, they took a nosedive, but I was able to reattach what I could quickly back to the arch and utilized the remaining flowers to make a circle on the ground where they stood. I made a quick joke to the crowd that seemed to offer some lightheartedness back into the situation, ran over to the wedding party lineup, and we were back on our way. At the end of the ceremony, I remember the couple saying how cool that circle of flowers was on the ground. They had no idea that anything had happened moments before, which as a planner is a huge success. So yeah, thinking on your toes, HUGE part of being a wedding planner. I am lucky enough that after every wedding I take time to reflect and find one thing that went great and one thing that can be improved on. Each wedding, I leave with more experience than the last and it is cool to see how far Iʻve come. While I'll never make the same mistakes again, Iʻm thankful to have the space to learn and grow. One of the greatest things I learned from my first wedding is how much I love being able to play a part in a couples love story and how special it is to walk alongside them on this journey, something that I am glad to know now is the greatest part of my job. If you need any help with planning your next event, click here or email us info@thegayagenda.co Follow us on Instagram @thegayagenda.co Photography Credit: Peter H Weddings

PHOTO: THE SINGLERS VENUE: THE FULLERTON ARBORETUM There are so many moving pieces when it comes to your wedding day and so many big decisions to be made, one of which is the venue. Now while you’re likely to be excited to visit the venue space, taking it all in and getting all kinds of info thrown at you may be a little overwhelming. Here’s a quick list of 12 questions you should ask when you visit the venue with a little extra reasoning behind why you should ask (from a wedding planner’s perspective of course). Think of this as a little wedding planner in your pocket while you tour the venue. 1. Do you still have availability for my date? If the date is important to you, it’s best to find out sooner than later if your date is available. You don’t want to tour an entire venue and fall in love with it only to find out it’s no longer available on your desired date! If you folks are flexible on the date, that’s great and will lead to more options; especially if you’re looking to have your wedding soon. 2. What is the cancellation policy? Now that we’ve all lived through and are still living in a pandemic world, it’s good to know the venue’s cancellation policy. A lot of venue’s have added a “Covid Clause” so it’s important to know what your options are if something Covid related comes up. Will you be able to reschedule, how far in advance will you need to reschedule, and will there be any additional fees you should be wary of? Life happens so you just want to know what options you’ll have. 3. How many guests can you accommodate? Depending on how large or small your wedding will be, it’s good to know if there is a minimum and maximum capacity. You’ll want to make sure the venue can comfortably fit all of your guests. PHOTO: CLASSIC PHOTOGRAPHERS VENUE: SEACLIFF COUNTRY CLUB 4. What does the parking situation look like? Will your guests be from in town and driving to your event? You’ll want to make sure the venue offers adequate parking or at least has a plan for where all your guests can park. 5. Are there multiple locations on property to do the ceremony and reception separately or will we need to turn the space? What does that mean for our guests? Will you be able to do it all in one space or will you need to plan to have your ceremony elsewhere and transport guests between two locations? If there is only one space on the property, will they help you turn the space into the reception or will you need to have your own staff to do that? If you need to turn the space, will there be an area for guests to have a cocktail hour or something to keep them entertained while the space is transformed? These are all points to consider when looking for a venue that fits your needs. 6. Is there a weather contingency plan in case it rains? Hopefully it doesn’t rain on your special day, but in case it does, the venue should have a strong backup plan that meets your expectations. The plan should be something you will genuinely be happy with if it comes to that. Hope for the best, but always plan for the worst. 7. How many hours do we have in the space? Does that include time for setup and breakdown? This will help you plan out the schedule for the day. Sometimes the rental time slot is inclusive of setup and breakdown time, but sometimes it isn’t. This information is important for your wedding planner and vendors to know when they can come in to set up and break down their equipment, decorations, etc. It’s also important to note what time you’ll need to be packed up and fully out of the space because you don’t want to be charged for extra time. Make sure you understand what their policy is for when you need to be off property and plan accordingly. PHOTO: DANIELLE BENNINK PHOTOGRAPHY VENUE: REDONDO BEACH HISTORIC LIBRARY 8. Are there separate spaces for us to get ready or dressed in with our wedding party? Depending on what your plan is to get ready, you’ll probably want to know if the venue has options for holding you and your partner before the ceremony; especially if you don’t want to see one another. 9. Do you have a preferred vendor list I must work with? Sometimes venues will restrict who you’re allowed to use as vendors so if you have a particular vendor in mind for your food, photography, planning, dessert, etc. that’s something to consider. 10. Are there any restrictions in terms of decor, alcohol, food, desserts, etc. we are allowed to bring in? (hard alcohol, candles, confetti, wedding cake, etc.) Every venue will have their own set of rules that you’ll need to follow so it’s important to note these things and make sure they don’t complicate your wedding vision. Each couple will have different must haves, you and your partner will need to decide what is most important and what “no-no’s” make a venue a deal breaker for you both. Do you need sparklers, confetti, fireworks, hard alcohol, etc. or is the venue more important to you? Remember, a lot of these restrictions will be in place due to liability and safety. 11. How much time are we allowed for rehearsal? You’ll want to make sure you’ll be allotted time to bring in your planner, day of coordinator, wedding party, etc. so everyone knows where to go and what to do on the day of. What days of the week and what time will they allow you to come in so everyone can get on the same page. 12. Are there additional fees, gratuities, taxes, etc.? When are the deposit and final payment due? No one wants to be bamboozled at the end of an already very expensive day, so make sure you know what the venue will charge. Do you need to tip out the staff separately, or is that included in the bill, will there be fees for being on the property too long, damages, excessive clean up fees, etc. Then, if you love the venue, when do you need to pay the deposit to hold your date, is there a payment plan/schedule, when will they need your final payment, are there any late fees, etc.? Be sure to read the contract thoroughly before you sign! And that’s it folx! We hope these questions help you with your venue search and bring some ease to the wedding planning process. Make sure to pin and save this photo here for your next venue tour; that way you can have all your questions nice, handy and ready to go! *Clicking on this photo allows you to download a printable copy Was this list of questions helpful? Have some questions for the venue that you think we should add to this list? Let us know here!

Well it has only taken two years, 14 full pages of reasons why I shouldnʻt, and currently an entire box of graham crackers to get this going, but we are finally here. I am so excited to get our blog up and running! Photo Credit: Kenzie Kate Photo (left), Megan Moura (right) For those of you who skipped straight to the blog and have no clue who I am, my name is Zabrina or Zabs, depending on the day and/or severity. I am the owner of The Gay Agenda Collective, a wedding and event planning company that creates beauitful and meaningful events for LGBTQ+ folx and their allies. I have had the pleasure of being a wedding planner for three years now and am currently based on the Island of Oʻahu. In the last three years I have seen my fair share of anything and everything weddings and have practiced a “learn as we go” type of approach to owning a business. As a queer, WOC, kanaka owned business, I also have learned a lot of work around in this industry that doesnʻt always look or represent someone like me. Photo Credit: Megan Moura Now, I am fully aware that literally everyone has a blog and why the heck would I decide to take up any more digital real estate (trust me, this was like a top 10 reason to why it's taken me so long). But I really wanted to create a space where I could dive into detail about my events, projects, and thoughts and share it with all of you. As someone who owns an entire bookshelf worth of half written-in journals and has a really hard time throwing things away, I am deeply nostalgic. I hope that when I look back on these entries, it will remind me of where I was, where I am, and where I am going. Photo Credit: Megan Moura The second desire of this blog is to be able to feature other voices. I am really excited that we have some amazing writers joining us on this blog to share their input and insight. There is power in story and there is strength in numbers, so being able to give those a platform to share is a huge goal of mine that I know will be highly impactful. Photo Credit: Kenzie Kate Photo Lastly, I want to put out content that is helpful and meaningful to you all. Whether you are planning a wedding, looking to own your own business, or want to learn more about pushing The Gay Agenda, my hope is that this space serves you. Now, not all posts will be up your alley and that's okay. If there is ever a topic you want to hear more about, always feel free to email us at info@thegayagenda.co to share your thoughts. New posts will be live every Thursday. Mahalo for your continued support! Xo, Zabs (how gossip girl of me)